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World's Greatest Cutoffs

mustachemonth — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 00:50:42 GMT

I found this image by searching "Fucking Sweet Stache". What I should have searched was "Fucking Sweet Jorts". You've gotta love this guy's dedication though, as it appears he shaved himself all the way down past his incredibly hairy knees. Is anybody else wondering if the carpet matches the decorative tapestry?

Bill Simmons Rocks a Mustache!

mustachemonth — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 00:44:24 GMT

Bill Simmons filled in for Tony Kornheiser last week on Pardon the Interruption. Though Wilbon was saying that Tony was on vacation, anybody that has read the ESPN book has to wonder if Tony has once again stuck his foot in his mouth and earned himself a suspension.

Simmons makes up for having the most annoying voice on TV by rocking a mustache (even though he's hedging his bet with a choade scrubber) and refusing to shave it even though Wilbon and others kept flipping him shit. Stay strong you squeaky voiced homer. Stay strong.

Mustache Knowledge Quiz

mustachemonth — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 02:36:45 GMT

Try out this Quiz and let us know how you did in the comments section. To be honest, I only got a 13. I'm sort of embarrassed actually!

Hint: This Mustache did not make the quiz!!

Mustache Quiz

Adopt a Mustache

mustachemonth — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 23:02:20 GMT

College Football is not normally a hotbed for sweet mustaches, but Mikhail Marinovich's stache is aiming to change that. Unfortunately for this highly lovable mustache the half brother of former first round ~~embarrassment~~ ~~bust~~ ~~horror show~~ ~~pile of poo~~ draft pick, Todd Marinovich, is trying hard to prove that his brother is not the biggest chonch in the family.

In life, not every great mustache is paired with a great person and that is the case with this poor stache. As you can see in these pictures, this hugable mustache deserves a much better home than this douche extraordinaire. Nice tats brah.

If you would like to adopt this mustache, contact mustachemonth.com and we'll set you up with this lovable young stache.

Heineken Light Commercial - Have at You Then!

mustachemonth — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 01:12:14 GMT

Though I would never ever ever never ever neeeeevvvvveeeerrrrrr (etc.) suggest that anybody drink a Heineken Light, you've got to hand it to them for making this hilarious video about spectacular mustaches and fisticuffs. This video inspires me to take my own handlebar mustache out and accost a well muscled competitor.

Whisker Wars on IFC

mustachemonth — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 01:31:58 GMT

Whisker Wars starts on IFC on August 5th. Is it a coincidence that a facial hair based show is debuting during Mustache Month?* (see answer below) Also, what the Hell is IFC?

So I guess the premise of this show is to follow around Team USA as they compete in various Beard and Mustache competitions around the world, including the World Beard and Mustache Championship in Norway. I just hope they don't skimp on the staches.

My favorite quote from this trailer is “Some people like to garden. Some people like motorcycle riding. My hobby is winning.” Sounds like Kenny Powers minus the F-bombs.

Fuckin' A.

*No.

Jealous? You Probably Should Be

mustachemonth — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 00:43:47 GMT

Unless you are a multi-time World Beard and Mustache Champion, you probably don't have a mustache as freaking amazing as this one spotted at the Astros Pirates game last Sunday. This is a man that I would definitely want to hang out with because not only does he have a top notch mustache, but he's also at an ASTROS VERSUS PIRATES GAME! I'm a huge baseball fan, and I'm not sure I would attend an Astros vs. Pirates game if somebody gave me a free ticket, a limitless supply of beer, and an autographed replica Rollie Fingers mustache. Granted, the Pirates are near the top of the NL Central right now, but still, yuck!

Gayest Cowboy? Surprisingly Not Troy Aikman

mustachemonth — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 03:04:11 GMT

In a move that sent shock waves through the football community, a former Dallas Cowboy appeared on the cover of Out Magazine. It's no surprise that a former Cowboy would appear on the cover of the Gay themed periodical, but it is surprising that the former Dallas Cowboy was not Troy Aikman.

Long rumored to be a gay-wad, Troy Aikman once saw Antonio Gates in the locker room and was surprised about how big he was, ya know, from the waist down.

Anyhoo, the former Dallas Cowboy that appeared on the cover of Out Magazine was none other than the coke sniffing, throat slitting former wide receiver Michael Irvin. Apparently, his brother is as gay as everybody assumed Troy Aikman is. And in a nod to stereotypes, Irvin is even rocking a stache for the cover shot. Fabulous.

There's nothing, at all, gay about this picture.

Eric Wedge Supports Baseball Tradition

mustachemonth — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 19:38:49 GMT

It's amazing to me that in a sport known for its mustaches, there are very few players or managers that are rocking the sweet lip warmer. Eric Wedge is the old school manager of the pitching heavy Seattle Mariners. He also has a stellar mustache. Is this a coincidence? I highly doubt it. Naturally, good mustaches and good baseball go hand in hand. His mustache is so good, that it has inspired this great t-shirt.

Keep up the good work and the good mustache Eric!

Best Storyline Ever.

mustachemonth — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 02:15:32 GMT

15 years ago today, the greatest blonde mustache ever joined the dark side. Feel old? You should!

Gene Okerlund: Hulk Hogan, excuse me. Excuse me. What in the world are you thinking?

Hulk Hogan: Mean Gene the first thing you gotta do is to tell these people to shut up if they want to hear what I’ve gotta say.

Travis Snyder is Back and Better Than Ever

mustachemonth — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 00:38:25 GMT

Oft recalled and re-designated Toronto Blue Jay, Travis Snyder was recalled again from Triple A recently. Snider has been called up only to be sent back down 645 times already in his short career. This time will be different though.

Why will this time be different? Because the last time the Blue Jays sent him down to AAA Las Vegas, they told him very specifically to work on his mustache.

"At this level," an unnamed source explained, "it's hard for a rookie ball player to excel without having a solid mustache."

And work on his mustache he did. Travis Snider's mustache ranks right up there with some of the great mustaches in Blue Jays history.

Welcome back to the Big Leagues Travis...errr...should we say MISTER Snider?!

LasVegas.Com Deal

mustachemonth — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 00:31:08 GMT

I just booked my room for the Convention on LasVegas.com. I am staying from Friday to Monday (Monday's flights were much cheaper). If I got the cheapest room at the Fremont Hotel, it was just under $200 for three nights. Then I found a coupon code for $20 off when you spend $200 or more. I got the Deluxe room at the Four Queens for the same price. Will the Deluxe room be any better? Fuck yeah, it will!! It's DELUXE!

It's not a huge savings but it's $20 more I can lose at the craps table!!

If you want to use the coupon code, it's VEGAS20

Great Pitcher Terrible Mustache

mustachemonth — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 02:55:25 GMT

One of the best things about baseball in the post-steroid era is that pitching is dominating and small ball wins games. The seeming poster boy for the post steroid era is pitcher Tim Lincecum of the current World Champion San Francisco Giants. With his slight build and quirky pitching style, the Freak has become one of the most dominant pitchers in baseball. He is not, however, dominant at growing a mustache. As you can see below.

Keep working on it Timmy, very few people are lucky enough to grow a solid mustache on their first try!

Buy Mustache Art

mustachemonth — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 03:15:28 GMT

Larry Bird had a sweet little tiny mustache when he was a player and now you can buy some original Larry Bird artwork off ebay for (currently) $2.29!! What a great deal!! Hurry up and check it out though because bidding ends on July 1st.

Mustache Shop

mustachemonth — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 16:17:45 GMT

Some Dude named Jimmy created this store that sells mustache related t-shirts and hats. There are some pretty interesting items to choose from, but the highlight has to be this clever take on the normally played out Mustache-Ride concept. Well done Sir.
If you mention MustacheMonth.com when you make your purchase, Love Handle Clothing will throw in a free bowl of soup.

Great Mustache Great Prank

mustachemonth — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 02:24:39 GMT

This spectacular Right Guard commercial from 1989 features current Arizona Diamondbacks manager Kirk Gibson with a sweet mustache and inspired this great prank from his team.

Must Respect the Mustache

mustachemonth — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 04:55:22 GMT

Even though every self respecting football fan hates the brothers Manning, you've got to admit making this trailer is a better use of the extra off season time this year than the drunk driving, drug use, and woman beating that many of the athletes are participating in. Plus you've got to enjoy the perpetuation of the stereotype that all cops wear mustaches! The only real debate here is which Manning sucks more.

Meet Mr. Irrelevant

mustachemonth — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 03:40:55 GMT

In football, the very last person taken in the NFL draft is nicknamed Mr. Irrelevant. The tradition was started in 1976 and every year, the "winner" is invited out to Newport California for a golf tournament, a trophy presentation, and a roast. The current Mr. Irrelevant is Cheta Ozougwu, who was drafted by the Houston Texans.

With this idea in mind, I decided to see who was the Mr. Irrelevant of Mustaches by Google searching "Mustache" and finding the post that finished dead last in the Google rankings. On the 76th Google page, number 760 overall comes a blog post from Aaron Rosenblatt, a photo journalist living in Missouri (at least at the time of the post).

Congratulations Aaron, Google thinks your post is the least important thing about Mustaches on the entire internet!!

See the Mustache's Mr. Irrelevant Here!!

What's Really Going On??

mustachemonth — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 01:06:07 GMT

Two posts in one day?! How could you be so lucky?? If you've never heard of John Axford, he is the Closer for the Milwaukee Brewers. He has a bitchin' sweet mustache as you can see. His wife just had a baby, and the kid is already sporting a pretty mean mustache of his own and it can do some pretty wonderful things! Check it out!

Reviewing the Brew

Working the System

mustachemonth — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 00:52:32 GMT

I contribute to another blog called BeMorePopular.com. The back end of the blog says that if any other blog links to the site it will let us know. I'm not sure the advantage of that but we currently have a big fat ZERO links. I'm not surprised, but I want to see if it really works.

In order to maintain Mustache consistency throughout this blog, here is an awesome picture that I found!