Who is Rex Jones???
I'm watching the Cardinals versus Astros game and Prince Albert just fouled a fastball straight back into the face mask of the umpire. The umpire is obviously shaken up because Albert hits the ball harder than Elijah Dukes hits his girlfriend. But then one of the greatest mustaches I have ever seen trots out of the Astros dugout. HOLY FREAKING MUSTACHE who is this man? It is none other than the awesomely named Rex Jones, Athletic Trainer. By just getting close to the umpire, the healing powers are released from his gorgeous mustache and shortly, the game continues. Pujols is so mesmerized by the stache, that he grounds out weakly to the shortstop. This mustache is so amazing it has the power to make fans attend Marlins games, it can make the Yankees and Red Sox play a two and a half hour baseball game, and could even make Tony LaRussa crack a tiny little grin.
That man stole Wilfred brimleys mustache!
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