The big news tonight is not that  the Washington Generals Nationals beat the Evil Empire 3-0, but that first baseman Nick Johnson shaved off the goatee and is rocking the mustache!!  Not Coincidentally, Johnson is hitting 38 points higher than his career average, is on pace for 185 hits and 83 RBI, and is leading the team in all around handsomeness.  This is another sweet piece of evidence proving the Mustache to Success Ratio Factor.  If Nick Johnson continues to wear a mustache he can expect more good things to come his way like pretty girls smiling at  him, having naturally nice smelling breath, and getting traded off the Washington Nationals.  SUCCESS!!

If mustaches are to make a come back,  the famous, the wealthy, and the uber- athletic (i.e. Nick Johnson) are going to have to show men that they need not be ashamed of their nose neighbors.  Pedophiles beware, we are taking back the Mustache!!!

Nick Johnson is retarded...about Baseball.