One of these men is a douche and a baseball player...

KY
27 years
Male
Aries
4 years of MustacheMonth
4 years of MustacheMonth Convention
Mustache: Sneaky

Q.  What is your beverage of choice at the MustacheMonth Convention?
A.  Corona and a shot of Jaeger

Q.  What is your game of choice at the MustacheMonth Convention?
A.  Craps

Q.  How much do you charge for mustache rides?
A.  Women under 125 lbs are free, over 125 lbs must pay at least 18 beers or a full bottle of liquor.  Over 170 is an additional $500.00.  However if I transform, the ride is over and no refund will be given.

Q.  If you could trade mustaches with anybody, living or dead, who would it be?
A.  Sam Elliot

Q.  What person, living or dead, has a mustache that most closely resembles yours?
A.  I have been told Jeff Kent, but he is quite te douche and played for the Giants and Dodgers, so fuck him.

Q.  What is your favorite MustacheMonth Convention memory?
A.  Getting 5 Chewbaccas and a wild, he growled at me and gave me $300.

Q.  Which celebrity that currently does not have a mustache do you think could most benefit from growing one?
A.  Ryan Reynolds.  Van Wilder would rock a mean mustache.

Q.  Tom Selleck or Burt Reynolds?
A.  Tom Selleck.  Hands down.

Q.  When did you realize that you looked more handsome with a mustache than without one?
A.  The first time I looked in the mirror after shaving it off.  I immidiately wanted it back, but was kind of glad it was gone for awhile.

Q.  What is the best part about having a mustache?
A.  Combing it.  Combing your face is nice.

Q.  What is the worst part about having a mustache?
A.  Going to family reunions.

Q.  Do chicks dig the 'stache?
A.  Yes they do.

Q.  If your mustache had a name, what would it be?
A.  The Lip Shepherd.

Q.  What is your favorite part about MustacheMonth?
A.  Truly not giving a fuck and rocking the Stache.

Q.  What is your favorite part about the MustacheMonth Convention?
A.  I know I'm going to be in one place for sure once per year.

Q.  Who, besides you, is the favorite to win Mustache of the Month of the Year at this years Convention?
A.  Gipp

Q.  Why do you think the media portrays people with mustaches as cops, gays, villains, or pedophiles?
A.  They are jeaous that they don't have one so they want to make the mustache look bad.

Q.  Is Hitler an evil man bacause he:
      A.  Attempted to eradicate an entire group of people based on race and religious beliefs
      B.  Attempted to conquer an entire continent therby bringing the whole world to war and causing the deaths of hundreds of thousands of soldiers
      C.  Had syphilis, which eventually drove him to insanity
      D.  Ruined one style of mustache for eternity
A.  A. and D.