This is an actual stamp and envelope letter that we sent to Raul Grijalva, Democrat, 7th Congressional District of Arizona back on September 2nd, 2008.  We obviously received no response from the Congressman, but it sets us up for a fun survey request.

Enjoy.

Congressman Raul M. Grijalva
1440 Longworth HOB
Washington DC 20515

Your Majesty,

I recently read the speech you gave on Thursday July 31^st, 2008 in support of the College Opportunity and Affordability Act of 2008.  Though succinct, your heartfelt oration moved me to write you this letter today.  You see Congressman Grijalva, I too am a minority and have on occasion felt the crushing weight of prejudice on my broad shoulders.

Sir, I am sick and tired of seeing our people portrayed as criminals, pedophiles, and rapists.  I will be forthright and let you know that I do not live in the 7^th Congressional District.  However, I feel a kinship with you that I do not feel with my own Congressional Representative, Congressman Harry Mitchell.  He is not like us.

I know your time is very valuasble, so I will try to be concise.  My purpose for writing you is two-fold.  First, do you have a personal relationship with my Congressional Representative Harry Mitchell?  If so, could you please use some of your influence to convince him to grow a mustache so that he will understand the plight of some of his constituents?  If Congressman Mitchell refuses to grow a mustache, I will be tempted to relocate to an area where my voice can be heard and my Congressman understands me, namely the 7^th congressional district of Arizona.  Please send me literature on fun things to do and job opportunities in the Seventh District (Though I am confident in your persuasive abilities, I feel that if Mr. Mitchell wanted a mustache he would have had one by this time in his life).

The second purpose for this letter is to find out how I can go about making August National Mustache Month.  I feel that Our People could use a little recognition for the positive contributiuons we’ve made to this Great Land .  I believe that August is the perfect month to honor the mustache as the Nation has very little else to celebrate during this time.  Please send me information on what I need to do to make this happen.  If you can help in any way, I ( and many other mustachioed Americans) would greatly appreciate it.

I close with a plea, Mr. Grijalva.  Be Our Champion.  Give Mustaches a voice.  Let Us be heard.  Convince Harry Mitchell to frow a glorious mustache to further bless the great state of Arizona.

Sincerely,