Mustache Dispatch
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World's Greatest Cutoffs
I found this image by searching "Fucking Sweet Stache". What I should have searched was "Fucking Sweet Jorts". You've gotta love this guy's dedication though, as it appears he shaved himself all the way down past his incredibly hairy knees. Is anybody else wondering if the carpet matches the decorative tapestry?
Bill Simmons Rocks a Mustache!
Bill Simmons filled in for Tony Kornheiser last week on Pardon the Interruption. Though Wilbon was saying that Tony was on vacation, anybody that has read the ESPN book has to wonder if Tony has once again stuck his foot in his mouth and earned himself a suspension.
Simmons makes up for having the most annoying voice on TV by rocking a mustache (even though he's hedging his bet with a choade scrubber) and refusing to shave it even though Wilbon and others kept flipping him shit. Stay strong you squeaky voiced homer. Stay strong.
Simmons makes up for having the most annoying voice on TV by rocking a mustache (even though he's hedging his bet with a choade scrubber) and refusing to shave it even though Wilbon and others kept flipping him shit. Stay strong you squeaky voiced homer. Stay strong.
Mustache Knowledge Quiz
Try out this Quiz and let us know how you did in the comments section. To be honest, I only got a 13. I'm sort of embarrassed actually!
Hint: This Mustache did not make the quiz!!
Mustache Quiz
Hint: This Mustache did not make the quiz!!
Mustache Quiz
Adopt a Mustache
College Football is not normally a hotbed for sweet mustaches, but Mikhail Marinovich's stache is aiming to change that. Unfortunately for this highly lovable mustache the half brother of former first round embarrassment bust horror show pile of poo draft pick, Todd Marinovich, is trying hard to prove that his brother is not the biggest chonch in the family.
In life, not every great mustache is paired with a great person and that is the case with this poor stache. As you can see in these pictures, this hugable mustache deserves a much better home than this douche extraordinaire. Nice tats brah.
If you would like to adopt this mustache, contact mustachemonth.com and we'll set you up with this lovable young stache.
In life, not every great mustache is paired with a great person and that is the case with this poor stache. As you can see in these pictures, this hugable mustache deserves a much better home than this douche extraordinaire. Nice tats brah.
If you would like to adopt this mustache, contact mustachemonth.com and we'll set you up with this lovable young stache.
Heineken Light Commercial - Have at You Then!
Though I would never ever ever never ever neeeeevvvvveeeerrrrrr (etc.) suggest that anybody drink a Heineken Light, you've got to hand it to them for making this hilarious video about spectacular mustaches and fisticuffs. This video inspires me to take my own handlebar mustache out and accost a well muscled competitor.
Whisker Wars on IFC
Whisker Wars starts on IFC on August 5th. Is it a coincidence that a facial hair based show is debuting during Mustache Month?* (see answer below) Also, what the Hell is IFC?
So I guess the premise of this show is to follow around Team USA as they compete in various Beard and Mustache competitions around the world, including the World Beard and Mustache Championship in Norway. I just hope they don't skimp on the staches.
My favorite quote from this trailer is “Some people like to garden. Some people like motorcycle riding. My hobby is winning.” Sounds like Kenny Powers minus the F-bombs.
Fuckin' A.
*No.
Jealous? You Probably Should Be
Unless you are a multi-time World Beard and Mustache Champion, you probably don't have a mustache as freaking amazing as this one spotted at the Astros Pirates game last Sunday. This is a man that I would definitely want to hang out with because not only does he have a top notch mustache, but he's also at an ASTROS VERSUS PIRATES GAME! I'm a huge baseball fan, and I'm not sure I would attend an Astros vs. Pirates game if somebody gave me a free ticket, a limitless supply of beer, and an autographed replica Rollie Fingers mustache. Granted, the Pirates are near the top of the NL Central right now, but still, yuck!
Gayest Cowboy? Surprisingly Not Troy Aikman
In a move that sent shock waves through the football community, a former Dallas Cowboy appeared on the cover of Out Magazine. It's no surprise that a former Cowboy would appear on the cover of the Gay themed periodical, but it is surprising that the former Dallas Cowboy was not Troy Aikman.
Long rumored to be a gay-wad, Troy Aikman once saw Antonio Gates in the locker room and was surprised about how big he was, ya know, from the waist down.
Anyhoo, the former Dallas Cowboy that appeared on the cover of Out Magazine was none other than the coke sniffing, throat slitting former wide receiver Michael Irvin. Apparently, his brother is as gay as everybody assumed Troy Aikman is. And in a nod to stereotypes, Irvin is even rocking a stache for the cover shot. Fabulous.
Long rumored to be a gay-wad, Troy Aikman once saw Antonio Gates in the locker room and was surprised about how big he was, ya know, from the waist down.
Anyhoo, the former Dallas Cowboy that appeared on the cover of Out Magazine was none other than the coke sniffing, throat slitting former wide receiver Michael Irvin. Apparently, his brother is as gay as everybody assumed Troy Aikman is. And in a nod to stereotypes, Irvin is even rocking a stache for the cover shot. Fabulous.
There's nothing, at all, gay about this picture.
Eric Wedge Supports Baseball Tradition
Keep up the good work and the good mustache Eric!
Best Storyline Ever.
15 years ago today, the greatest blonde mustache ever joined the dark side. Feel old? You should!
Gene Okerlund: Hulk Hogan, excuse me. Excuse me. What in the world are you thinking?
Hulk Hogan: Mean Gene the first thing you gotta do is to tell these people to shut up if they want to hear what I’ve gotta say.
